Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood and misused principles of everyday living. Society has taught us to use forgiveness as a tool of retaliation and hostage taking, instead of being used as a tool of healing and restoration.
What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is the willing act of excusing a mistake or offense. That means although the other party may be guilty of committing something harmful or hurtful towards you, you make a conscious effort to free them of the guilt and “penalty” of that offense. Often times we are unable to excuse others, because of the pain attached to the offense. But true forgiveness calls for us to “pardon” the offender. Not that the offense is excusable, as all issues must be dealt with in a godly manner, but you don’t hold ill feelings towards the person that committed the act.
Holding on to unforgiveness creates more problems, issues and hurt than we realize. First it keeps the offended person hostage emotionally. People carrying unforgiveness, become weighted down with the pain, distrust and separation that unforgiveness comes with. Secondly, if we are not careful it begins to seep into other areas of our lives, and we begin to mistreat those, who have done no wrong. It also holds the offender hostage, because we tend to try and make the wrongdoer “earn our forgiveness” with a checklist of; if you do this or that, then maybe I will forgive you. Thirdly, it creates a hindrance in our personal relationship with God, and our ability to worship him freely. Unforgiveness is a tool used by the enemy to keep us in disharmony with one another and with God.
There are 2 important factors to remember about forgiveness:
First, it is not based on your emotional ability to let go, but your ability to follow what God has given you the ability to do. You are commanded and able to forgive, completely release the pain, frustration and wrongdoer form the negativity associated with the offense and live in harmony with them. *SR Matthew 18:20-22.
Secondly, remember that just as someone is in need of forgiveness for hurting you, you too at one point have been and will be in need of forgiveness from someone else. We all, whether intentionally or mistakenly have caused pain to another, and must go to them desiring forgiveness and reconciliation with them.
My brothers and sisters, the next time you are hurt and it seems like you are unable to forgive or pardon your offender, ask the Lord to help you to live out his commandment to forgive, despite your emotional rationale, and give thanks to HIM for the times he has and will forgive you!
Be Blessed
